there's no place like home!

Tonight, upon arriving hoe from a five day trip to Tennessee, I was rewarded with a very simple ting upon walking into my house; silence. The dogs were still at the dogcare place, my family was outside, and I could relax in the knowledge that I had a few seconds of total silence, all to myself.

That time has since passed, and I am eager to write again.

Last night, my aunt came upstairs to where I had been spending the night, in the middle of the children's play room on an air mattress, and she sat down and spoke with me for a number of minutes. It was not long before the tears came to her eyes, and she thanked me for the time I willingly spent with her kids that day specifically (I babysat them for the course of the Badger game), and also the previous three days. She also told me that I have impressed her each time she spends time with me, that I help her to think about things more deeply, and how her two daughters may have a new favorite person. I think that our uncle Gary still holds the edge in that department.

My conversation with my aunt made me think about two things, and what follows will (hopefully) be broken up into those two categories.

Thought Process One: What is my influence on those around me?

I was able to bring my aunt to tears simply by opening up a little bit to her. I don't like seeing people cry, and this was no exception, but I do have the ability to touch people (please, keep your thoughts clean when I say that.) When I begin to teach the gospel to people, I will have the power of the Holy Ghost with me to give me instruction, and also to help the investigator. The Spirit will be helping us both to understand each other better, and to bear witness of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

With the Spirit, I will always have the guidance of Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ in my life. Through this blessed gift, all things are possible. The more I keep my life in tune with the teachings of the gospel, the better I can influence people around me for the better.

Epiphany Numero Dos: I am scared of parenting.

I know that I am about 3 months removed from my mission, then 2 years removed from returning, then another 24 months before marriage, and then add a year or two to that before I have a kid. There. 5 and a half years away from children. There is no need for me to worry about it yet.

Already, though, I recognize that I will love my children so, so, so, so, so much, and I will not want to ever see them sad, or upset. I also know that I want to raise respectful, intelligent*, and mature kids. I want them to excel at sports, but I don't want to be a parent that attempts to live through their children. I want them to love me as much as I expect to love them.

There is going to be a fine balancing act to be performed when I start having kids, and I sure hope that I am ready for it.


*I needed spell check to correctly write "intelligent"