Let me start here. I am (hopefully) back to blogging. I have taken quite a long break, and missed the last two months fully. Since then I have seen my weight go from 183 lbs, to 192 lbs on Saturday, and down to 179 this morning. I have seen my nephew almost walking, and held him to calm him from a troubled sleep. I have improved my relationship with my little sister so that we have an agreement when it comes to my video games (you can play them when I am not home) as well as the clothes hanging in my closet (you take them and I break your nose J ). I went from not running to running to not running to biking. I have yo-yo’d on my diet, made plans to go to Seattle to visit my brother, had a panic attack when I thought my dog was having a heart attack, and finally seen Quigley (my other, younger, much less liked dog) not do anything when our lilac in our back yard almost fell on him during this past week’s snow storms. I started writing another book and then also gave up (I think it’s a good idea, but I need to do a lot more research). I have performed with my church choir poorly, but practiced well. I had a great game of football the day after Christmas. I finally got all my medical paperwork, handed it in, and interviewed with my Bishop and Stake President. I am currently awaiting my mission call to come in that wonderful white envelope.
Now, to the matter at hand.
Today, I had to take an online diversity awareness seminar for my job. I was asked 20 questions regarding my opinions and conduct regarding diversity, and asked to place my feelings regarding the questions on a scale of 1 to 5. At the end of the survey, I was given a score. Hrmm, a score of my opinions. They told me that I had a score equivalent to a failing grade in most every class I have ever taken. This was rather upsetting to me.
Now, I hate taking these bloody, freaking, annoying, basically waste of time online classes anyway, but this one severely irked me because I was told that I do not do enough to understand people. Now, please correct me if I am wrong, but I do not slight, ignore, and or disrespect people without waiting for them to do the same to me. Notice I did not say “never.” I know that I do assume preconceived notions about some people, but I also do not base my initial interaction with them on these thoughts (feel free to use the word prejudices’ as well, because they are). I give people an opportunity to show me who they are, and I am very good at keeping an open mind.
I will admit to one instance that comes to mind when I did do wrong. There was a loud, seemingly arrogant and egotistical douche bottle in the weight room in the fall of my freshman year at college. He had a goofy looking face, funny hair, but almost strutted through the room as if he owned it (granted, he was in good shape, and looked the part of a wide receiver), yelled around at everyone there, and could be heard from every corner of the athletic building. The second time I was in the weight room at the same time as him, I decided I really didn’t like this guy.
Winter break came around, and then indoor track season started. I reported back to school early to begin practice, and three days in, who shows up but the awkward looking, big headed, loud mouth. I was very upset. By the end of the week, I thought he was okay. By the end of the next week, I liked the guy. By the end of indoor season, I thought he was a great guy, thought rather loud and boisterous to the point of seeming arrogant. His name was Jordan Gobart.
I was not proud of the label I placed on him. What I am proud of is the way I handled myself when getting to know him. As soon as I noticed there was more to this person than the brash and volume and bowl cut, I dropped my assumptions and allowed him to show me who he was. This, I believe, is a strength. I have a willingness to be proven wrong.
Now, back to my rant. Though I am a shy and at times secluded person, once I start to get to know someone, I am very willing to continue to get to know people. I don’t care what you look like. If you are interesting to me, I will listen to you, and maybe even talk to you (I am not a great conversationalist. I am very willing to hang on to the fringes of a group as a conversation unfolds and say basically nothing). I have shown a propensity to look past peoples faults and shortcomings, and still like them (I do have a particular person in mind, in addition to myself, when I think of that. He IS arrogant, he IS loud, and he IS a bit of a cocky individual, but I was still friends with him, regardless of those things. HE was also a ginger).
I think, in the end, what I am trying to say is STOP TELLING ME THAT I AM NOT DIVERSE OR SENSITIVE TO DIVERSITY!!! No, I cannot understand everyone’s struggles, whatever they may be due to or stem from. What I do already is be sensitive to the fact that no one is me, and no one can fully understand me on this earth, and therefore, I cannot fully understand anyone else. That is where understanding another person begins; by knowing that you cannot, in your whole mortal life, ever fully understand them.
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