AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

As we progress deeper into the Christmas season, I find myself feeling more unprepared, and more hurried. I have to clean out two bed rooms, two basement rooms, help repaint the bathrooms, rearrange the entire first floor to make room for a gargantuan tree, and try and keep my sister and father from messing everything up. I have never been good at cleaning. I don't know if it is the having to throw things out, or trying to sort through things by moving them from one area of my room to another in an attempt to uncover other things hoping that I will eventually have less stuff than space, or if is the not knowing exactly what to do next so I stand there in my doorway for 10 minutes just looking at my room listening to music, or how my room became the storage room when everyone else left home so I have more stuff in there that ISN'T mine than is, or how my closet doesn't even have enough room to hang 6 shirts... there is a lot that works against me when I try and clean my room. But here is the real kicker; I DID IT!!! Yesterday I had a day off, and I started working at 10am, and stopped at 10pm (there were a few breaks in there, but I probably put in 10 'Strawn Hours'). I now have a stack of stuff 6 feet long, 5 feet high, and 3 feet deep that I either do not want (A TV and a box of old school work), or was never mine at all so I do not know what to do with it (Boxes of papers and cardigans of my sisters, some Russian book of my brothers, and boxes of posters and memorabilia of my other brother's), or was put in my room and it was assumed that it became mine by the rest of my family because "no one else wanted it, so just shove it in Gavin's room. He won't notice!" (Which is the remaining half of the stuff). But I did it. I have also almost gotten the guest bedroom cleaned up (after taking over the closet). I feeling much more relaxed about Christmas this year!

And then I remember that I haven't gotten anyone anything, yet. I am woefully unprepared to welcome my family with material possessions. I am very much looking forward to this Christmas, it being the last one I will have with my family for two years, and I really want to make it a special one. I don't necessarily need to get anyone anything extravagant, but I want to get each person something that they will enjoy and use and not put up on a shelf (unless that is it's purpose) or away in a closet to collect dust. I want this to be the best Christmas that I can help make it.

I have always enjoyed Christmas. My family invites the missionaries over every year (I sign up the first Sunday I see the missionary calendar). We get along for the vast part of the day. Inevitably, a number of us fall asleep, and the rest disappear to play with toys or read their new book, leaving my mom awake and busy talking to whoever didn't choose solitude (meaning she is usually talking to herself). This year, the Packers play the Bears, and my sister flies in during the game... so my mom and I nominated my dad to go get her. I am fully expecting this Christmas to be wonderful and nearly perfect (as perfect as a Strawn event can be).

I don't think I am ready to leave for my mission, but i believe that I will always feel something holding me back. I will miss everyone I leave behind so much. I am already going through it, having left school to work to pay for my mission, and I miss every single on of my friends. I got to know so many people, and came to care about so many of you, and when I leave home, it will be the hardest thing I have ever done.

I love this Gospel so much. I know it is true, and the more I study the scriptures, and pray for understanding and guidance, the more the Spirit testifies to me of the truth. I believe in Christ as my savior and God as my Heavenly Father. I believe that Joseph Smith was a true prophet of God, and through the Spirit translated the Golden Plates, and restored the fullness of the Gospel on the earth. I believe our general authorities are true men of God, called by Him to lead the world o return to live eternally by His side. I believe that the Spirit guides and directs me to choose the right, and that the Priesthood is on this earth to bless us in so many ways. I believe that this is a church of love, and that when we obey the commandment to love God with all our heart, and our neighbor as ourselves, no other commandments are needed. I have been a part of this church my whole life, and hope and pray that I can better myself daily that I may one day be worthy of the love of our Heavenly Father and our savior, Jesus Christ.

As New Years comes along, resolve to be a more charitable, loving, and selfless you. If everyone worked to be a better 'me,' this world would be a truly wondrous place.