There is an invariable battle in my life between what I want to do and what I am required to do. Requirements, including things such as work, take up my time and energy when I would rather be devoted to something else. Desires, reading for pleasure and working out for instance, are activities I wish to be able to spend my time doing. Easy distinction, right?
A few weeks back, I posited the question regarding (to paraphrase) "If everything you hoped for and work for come to fruition, would you be happy?" Yesterday, while doing clinical observation hours for my Master's program, someone asked "What is your goal?" My immediate reaction was to over analyze, and think 'what ARE my goals???' but I reigned in an responded that I wanted to work at Roncalli, teaching and coaching. I eventually expounded upon my answer to include "getting to the point where I don't have to worry about money."
My thoughts tend toward mathematical, but slightly simple mathematics (lots of multiplication and division, budgeting, mortgage analysis). I will always THINK about money. However, I anticipate getting to where I don;t have to think "I need this much for student loans, this for my car payment, this for mortgage, this for savings, this for emergency fund." I am excited to be free of being shackled by money, ruled by it, and my actions commanded by it. I don't need a hugely paying job to buy a mansion and drive a hot rod of a car. I want a simple house with room for a family of 5, parks and play sets within easy walking distance, and cars that are safe.
So often I let myself get overly affected by stress. It is a bad habit. I am trying to overcome it. However, one day I won't have these problems, and that'll be great.
Of course, I will probably find other problems to succumb to by then.
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